thrive

there are so many of us here, debbies, debras, debbis, debs, deborah, you name it and we gotcha covered!  it’s good to have all the debbies in full swing right now. we are all on this road together.

this little debbie here (and yes that was a nickname for me when i was a kid - the freckles, pigtails, and all made me look like her) is feeling really happy today. i was indeed down that other pound today. i had a feeling it would drop just a bit more. i am psyched about the momentum. i know, too, that it will last for sometime and that it will falter. at that point during my next wave of flailing we will see if i have what it takes - persistence and dedication. debbi wrote about that today. i see that in out champions here - lori, kama, wonder woman, nancy, anj, catrina (i am sure there are so many more) - they don’t give up, they stick to it EVEN when it’s tough and hard and bad. persistence is about just that, right?going on even when you want to quit. persistence is getting back up again and again and again. i thnk you need to believe that you can do it in order to persist. you have to know that it’s possible. well, let me tell you, it is. look at all of our great role models here. we can do this!!

come on all you buddies and all you debbies - let’s roll!!!

well, first, i have to go snow shovel we are so deep in snow here! later gators!

I am so excited. I lost a pound this week. I may make Saturday my weigh in and if I do, I’ll come back tomorrow and see if there is more of me gone. I made a few choices this week that helped me out. Namely, I let my peeps help me the last few days during my prone munching time. Being ready to change and having the support to do it sure make the road to success seem drivable. I have a little momentum going - zoom zoom!

Rather than just confessing my bad eats afterward, I wrote to some buddies before I did the deed and that stopped me. Really, I had to be ready to want to stop and I am, so I reached out for help. Luckily, I have you all!!!  For my changes, I will go for little bits at a time. A few days without giant binges is good for me. One step at time!

I am also finding that the little success motivates me for more, reminds me that i can do this, and gets me all pumped up. The other thing I constantly need to remember is that if I just get stuff done I will feel better and be less overwhelmed. It doesn’t matter which thing I do first, just do something on the list, otherwise i eat! So, the last two days I hossed it and did almost all of my holiday shopping and so much of it online here at home. Duh! Should have done that before…I even sent a friend a baby gift I’ve been wanting to send for months! woo hoo!

Allright-y y’all. Have a great weekend. There is a BIG SNOW that just arrived here. Did about 5 miles of walking this morning - shopping in the neighborhood plus kid to and from preschool. This afternoon maybe we will go sledding! Feeling good. Isn’t it funny how just one or two good days of eating and you can feel all good and thin even though my pants still don’t fit LOL!!??!!

thanks fellow slimmers for the help yesterday making it through the naptime munchies. i actually was just too wrapped up in this place to go and eat. that’s how it worked last year, too. I have to ban food from the computer again. I have slipped on that recently and think it’s a BAD habit to let happen. So, no more food at the computer.

Am doing some internet shopping and that feels great. Although, I think we waited too long and are about to disappoint our son over Geo Trax. It’s the only thing he asked for for Christmas. And, Target was out of them this morning - oops! Out of stock on line, too. Will trya and find some. I don’t know if Austin really cares or it’s just ath we kept prompting him to have an idea of what he wants to tell Santa. This whole thing can make me a bit Scrooge-y as it is over the top on the materialism thing. And yet, I like gifts - giving and recieving, but I am a bit tired of STUFF. Most of my job as a stay at home mom is managing stuff, loads of plastic stuff, too. Anyway, I digress into my views on all that…Don’t want to dis the kiddo. Will see what we can do. Am afraid to buy from a rando person on Amazon or Ebay as who knows if the shipping will really be on time. Found some posters on Craigslist - hopefully they still have the stuff. I love the idea of buying something like that used since it’s pricey, plastic, and we just don’t know how into it he’ll really be.

okay, am going to make some tea. Another rough sleep night, so need to have a little caffeine to keep moving. Hubby home late tonight, too, so it’s all me.

ps - didn’t bake for his party but did make some soup and delivered it to my friends yesterday - a bit crazed but glad to do it. Plus it was tasty and made enough for us. Spinach and Tortellini soup.

Wow. Puts life into perspective, right?

Here I am being a Scrooge. A grumpy tired Mom. An annoyed person. Whatever it is I am at the moment. I am being a LifeWaster as well. Well, Life Postponer might be a better phrase. Come on, you all know it …

“I’ll do that tomorrow.”

“I’ll do that when…”

“Oh, yeah, that’s important to me, I’ll figure that out and get on that once I do that…tomorrow.”

I’ve been thinking about mortality lately. The very true fact that we are here for a limited time and that this is our chance to do, be whatever it is we want. Many of my friends’ Dads have passed on this year and it is really hitting me deeply about my own family and my own mortality. I am understanding the mid-life crisis thing I heard of so often as I was growing up. I am getting that I only have so many chances to do things and then my chances are gone. The time is limited so act now…maybe that should’ve been the title to my blog. Maybe I’ll change it.  Maybe, later. See? There it is? The postponing. That bumper sticker Don’t Postpone Joy needs to be tatooed on my head. I am a constant waiter. Waiting to know what to do, to do the right thing, to do anything. Waiting until I’m not tired or busy or sick or fat or…whatever. And, you see, now I am really realizing that if you just keep waiting one day you will be gone without ever having done what it is you truly wanted.

Amazingly simple, yes? And so impossible, yes?

Should I still tell you why I was complaining of feeling like a Scrooge and Bad Mom. Christmas/Hannukah totally stress me out. I can’t get my sh*t together EVER to get thing out in the mail in time. I haven’t lived in the same state as my family since I was 18, so I always have to ship things. I am lazy and have a touch of perfectionism where I want just the right things and, so, it all gets done at the last minute or not at all. Neither of my folks really NEED or WANT anything. Maybe some photos, but even that stresses me out. And, today, I got upset and totally guilted my 3 yo about making cards for his grandparents. Nice. I really need to set up a therapy fund for the poor kid.

Am feeling pressure today of needing to get things in mail, buy more things, my photo project turned out lame, not sure if i should bake something, need to make dinner for friends who just had 3 rd baby today, bake something for husband’s work party, it snowed, my baby is a little sick and cranky this morning - really he just wanted to sleep and with the 3 yo home this morning it’s tough on the littler one. Trying to make sure they each get what they want - the dog, too, staring at me waiting for a walk. I’d like to walk, too, buddy, but eli is a little sick and it’s raining ice right now…ihave no presents yet for hubby or kids. we were trying to budget this year, but now looks like we may be okay.I’m just confused!

So that’s the complain-y stuff. Silly, I know. I am so lucky. My kids are super cute. My dog is 13 and while he will die in the next year to three which breaks my heart, I have been lucky to have him, my family is well, my husband is amazing. I am well (the pink eyes are almost gone!).

Wow. long blog. i feel less like a scrooge and less like eating sugary madness. May still have a cup of cocoa or just tea as I’m cold.

Tis the season, Fa la la la

Wowee. Someone should set a watch by me. For a girl that doesn’t like to be normal, you can freaking bet money that come this time of day I’ll be raiding the cupboards. It’s as soon as tired hits - i hit the munchies. Wowee, is all i can say. Remember my blog from a few hours ago? Rearing to go. Now I’m rearing to go eat. Still going to make it work. Really need to address this tired thing as it’s going to keep happening.

Hmm…

okay, i’m rearing to go. yep, been there before but never really said as much. i am ready now. here i go. there will be ups and downs i am sure but it is time to get serious! the muffin top is going along with all the muffins

hope all my buddies are rocking it. i may be on computer later today if we have a nap time. otherwise will check in at night. wish i could give you all boosters without crashing! you all are great!!!!!

Oh my goodness. I was getting dressed this morning and everything doesn’t fit. I am getting really big. I should be loosing weight after having a baby but here I am gaining it! I have been peeking out from under my denial and in between bowls of brownie dough, cookies, cookie dough, popcorn etc.

First off let me say that if you ever see me write, “I don’t usually, but…” that’s a sign that I am off my rocker.

Or, if Shan offers you the too much sugar shirt, don’t get defensive “oh, i don’t really eat that much.” Get serious.

CAn I tell you what a junkie I am?

I am a total sugar whore right now. As soon as my kid goes for nap or quiet time i am making the dough - the last two days. A few nights ago I ate all but one of the cookies my husband brought home from a work function - saved only the one he decorated for my son. I ate my kid’s goldfish. I eat all the rice and pasta and bread and…

I remember when sigar used to give me a buzz. Long ago, i really didn’t eat it very often and I would get this buzz from it. Not now, i’ve built such a tolerance that it takes more for that to happen. I remember that I didn’t like the feeling that sugar gave me so i didn’t do it too often or that ’s what i think anyway, who knows my denial is so deep.

Anyway, i wasn’t a regular sugar eater - the hard stuff, candy, cookies, etc until i had kids (and when i was a kid). I would clearly overindulge from time to time but not daily. Well, now i am hooked.

Are there SA meetings for Sugar Anonymous?

It is wild to watch my beavior - it’s like when I used to smoke. It’s with all food but aprticularly the carb-y food…

Bot sure yet when I’ll get myself to rehab. Clearly not today, as i just ate more brownie dough…

UGH!!!!!!

Oh well, must have been a fluke. I sent one booster and one email without crashing then BOOM crashola. Oh well, I may need to make a new profile and see if that works. I’m feeling attached to the old one so having trouble letting go…hmmm…maybe some issues here:) whatever. am tired, long two days of mommyhood. cute kids though i have to say, but tiring.

i finally fixed my system issue - the one where i couldn’t send emails or boosters because it would crash. well, i think it was my overly full email box here. not that i’m popular, just lazy and had never deleted anything. i just spent all my free nap time deleting and it seems i can email again and boost and all!!! wowee!!!!

meanwhile is that how you spell genius?  i am a typo waiting to happen

howdy all!

well isn’t it a funny thing that as soon as i said i wouldn’t worry about the weight loss, i started eating better? it feel great! and you know what else? I went to the gym Fri, Sat, and Sun and today I even stretched here at home. I haven’t done that in months and it felt super!

I LOVED going to the gym again - I am so happy that I went and reminded myself how good it feels to be there and to power through on the elliptical. I am sore and, man, were my hamstrings tight this morning. Need to stretch more - will help keep my back stable, too, as I amp up the workouts. I will do weights next weekend. The Friday class is a weightlifting class for mom and their babies - so cute! This weekend I just did the elliptical.

Hubby has to travel quite a bit this week and there is no school Monday and we are going to the Nutcracker on Friday so I won’t be able to go to the gym much during the week. Oh bummer, I will have to miss that class on Friday …drat! Anyway, I will definitely go next Sat and Sun.

And, remember how all I wanted for my birthday and holidays was personal training? We didn’t do it because we are on a bit of a spending freeze with layoffs looming still. BUT, they do have group exercise classes - boot camps and on is 6am which i think we could pull off here at home. So i amy get to do that. We are also looking into getting a bike for home. I want it in the Living Room, hubby wants it in the Dining Room (aka the crap room). I say, if it’s not where I hang out at night I won’t use it. So, we are thinking about it. Either way we have decided that I will keep my membership - it’s the only me time out of the house I get.

Have a great night!

ps - downing 3 liters of water a day.