thrive

so that’s how i feel. even now as i write this i am feeling that sense of HURRY!!! Must rush before baby wakes up, before i need to go back to school, because i need to be paying bills or running errands, or just because. My state of being ever since having my first kid has been no hurried. I want to write all about this but am finding i can’t give it the time because i want to get to the other topic, too, the waiting. i can feel this rush in my blood and bones. certainly doesn’t help when it comes to eating - that, too, is a rush. got to get it done and got to do things before the kids melt down - that seems to be the combo. where did the meandering, wandering me go? the one who likes to get lost in order to find new ways? maybe that’s why tv time at night is so “special” once i get there it is slow. a like not having been there the last few nights, though.

i want to slow down. i love yoga and meditation retreats and places that ooze slowness and quiet and peace. perhaps because i am sooooo busy. i feel busy and yet i feel lazy as there are always so many things i am not doing. and i do spend time just sitting around as well - staring out the window - literally!

maybe that’s how the waiting comes into play. i ahve really been noticing my waiting for mentality lately. it’s always there, but right now it is laughable. i was having the “i’ll start eating better, sleeping more, and not watching as much nightly tv when i’m not so tired” - um - DUH??? first, that makes me tired, second i have kids - i’m going to be tired for awhile now so why wait? the waiting effects everything i do…oh, i’m feeling hurried so i’m losing my train of thought…

maybe i’ll just go pay the bills.

i am doing well with not randomly eating on my upset stomach (we all ahve a slight bug here). i tend to eat when i don’t feel well - even if it’s a tummy issue. so it feels good to make better choices for my bod. i will eat as i need to keep fueled for nursing, but i won’t eat to feel better. it doens’t work anyway

is to go to sleep.

we all know it, right? if you stay up late you have more time to eat, it’s bad to eat too close to bedtime, if you are tired you will eat more the next day.

i just want to say that it is sooooooo true!

the nights that i get myself to go to sleep early, i lose weight. the reason for that is that i then don’t sit up and eat in front of the tv. the tough part for me is usually seeing going to sleep as something as desireable as staying up watching tv and eating. the last two nights i did. the first night was a beautiful moment of laying down with baby and loving that time with him versus time with the couch and tv. then last night, i really chose sleep over tv. it felt so good.

the irony is that both nights a layed down around 9, but the baby was a bit fussy and i was up till 11 anyway…and last night was a doozy of a sleep night. let’s hope the bigger kid naps today so i can nap. i chose that yesterday, too. napping over eating or being on the computer.

this is all helping make up for the weekend of gluttony. i am back on target and hope to pull a two pound loss this week just from this simple act. no other changes…well, i am getting lots of moment soothing the baby. last night i was up and down the stairs over and over and over again.

here’s to going to sleep!

i haven’t watched Biggest Loser this week, but last week i heard this line trhat really stuck with me: “To try is to give up with honor.” Therefore, don’t try just do it!

well i got my wedding rings off after my great weigh in on friday! woo hoo! then i proceeded to eat the farm as it were. did get the donuts and ate oh so many. am over that - they really are only good fresh. but our house has been looking like a bakery. a friend gave us a pie, another a banana bread, and then i baked some muffins. i am not sure how my weigh in will be this week.

sorry to be so off line since last week. we had a fair at school all day saturday then sat nite the dog got skunked so we dealt with that then plus sunday morn. then off to a b-day party. also, the bigger kiddo isn’t napping…

the real news now is that my hubby’s co will be having layoffs. we don’t know yey if it will be him. EGADS!!!! he is the worrier amongst us so he is sooooo stressed, but i have to say this is getting me to.

oh, baby is waking, gotta go!

love!

So, it’s official, today at weigh in I went under my original Buddy Slim tracker weight of 175. I slid under by just one pound but that’s okay, it was a 2 pound loss this week and i wasn not all that well behaved! It was nice to get the “good job” message instead of the other sweet but placating messages about setbacks. So, i’m on my way down to where i got last January. Let’s see how i do. The nursing definitely helps although this morning when i weighed in i swear i had about 2 pounds of milk in these knockers (overshare?)

Jut a reminder to you all - my BSlim email system totally crashes when i try to reply to you, so give me your outside world email if you really want to hear back or write a blog see me in the forums. i try to get on when the kiddos cooperate. i can read all of your mails i just can’t reply easily. i need lots of time to let it crash and reboot, so mainly i don’t do it. I can’t even send boosters

get this ring off my finger. nope, not looking to get separated, divorced or go bar/bed hopping with a ringless finger. just want to slim down enough that the darn thing COULD come off. The funny thing is, i was this big last year and it came off, so why not now? also, it spins easily it just won’t slide past the flesh. i already have huge hands (no really, i do), but now they are even bigger. so, my first goal besides my mini goal is to slide this ring off.

steps to make that happen:

up the intake of water. i always think i drink enough unitl i start tracking and realize it’s never quite enough

be smart on the eats and portions

i think i’ll start one day a week again as a no processed food day, fall is here, so a soup day should happen, too. have to watch all of this as a nursing mom.

remember movement burns calories! think about this when i don’t want to fold laundry, run up the stairs for something, or do the dishes. it all helps!

support my cats and also track my exercise

hope i can get the ring off soon. even though as soon as i do, i’ll put it right back on i do love my marriage!

excuse my language, but SHIT! i discovered doughnuts recently. actually, i remember the day well, it was the day my son was born. the friend who was watching my older son brought him to us at the hospital and had a bag of farm fresh doughnuts in her hand. the kids, friends, hubby left me that night at the hospital but the bag of doughnuts remained. i kept missing meal time, but there in that little white bag 6 doughnuts resided. they helped me through the night. - wowee!! were they good.  can’t say i’ve ever wanted a doughnut before, but now i can’t get them off my mind. every farm we go to for apple picking or hay rides i have to sample those little round descendents of heaven! and, i have to say, there are only a few worth the calories, but man are they ever! ugh! i tend to get into these things like this. I’ll have a drink i always get for a few months - like now it’s ice coffee from this one place. then i’ll have my favorite food thing, too, like scones but onloy from this other place. well, doughnuts are taking the lead. thing is, i have to go out to these farms to get them, which helps. one of the farms is a grocery store and i do need a few things, see where i’m going with this? i’m becoming obsessed with doughnuts. great - just what i need a new thing to love

i a m going to have to work this one out…they are so incredibly fattening - fried cake! could you get any unhealthier?

this is not going to help me get back down to pre-pregnancy weight of 158 and then get down to goal weight around 140. i have set a minigoal of 170. hope to have that by week after next. another goal - to be able to get my engagement ring off - i’m still too poofy from pregnany - i’m trying not to get clausterphobic about it being stuck on, but soon…

wow, i AM rambling!

off to take my vitamin and drink some water. how about you??

hey my buddies - boy do i miss all of you. wish my slow and crashing buddyslim computer woes were fixed. seems like i can blog, so that i will do!

well, as of this morning i am at 176 which is just a pound over where i started last year when i joined BS. Now, that may not sound like much of an accomplishment, but as a mom of a 3 week old I am psyched! I have about 15 more to drop of baby weight and then can get back onto dropping the other 15 or so I need to lose. It’s very exciting, although, I have to say i am still feeling the effects of the weight just dropping off. I am walking again, breastfeeding takes alot of calories, and i am okay on the eats - no big binges - but not eating extraordinarily well or light or anything. The weight isn’t just rolling off, but slowly and steadily it is coming. I remember from when i lost the 18 pound before that it came slowly and i was okay with that. I will be okay with that again now. 1-3 pounds a week is good by me!

i am in a funny place with eating, too, as I am nursing and my son has a little bit of acid reflux. WE also had a couple days this week of super fussy baby and we worried that colic was starting. Last couple of night have been better, so fingers crossed. Our first son was a bit colicky/fussy and it was really difficult. We are hoping for less of that - it is amazing how when my babies cry it just kills me when i can’t soothe them. Makes me feel inadequate as a mom,. like i’m doing something wrong, and just so sad for the little guy. Even thought we try everything! I am considering giving up dairy to see if that will help. I started that yesterday and then messed up and had yogurt with dinner. This is the confusion, too, because as a vegetarian so many of the foods i eat are possible allergens/gas-producing foods so what’s a girl to do. Yesterday I ate mainly carbs all day! UGH! Got to figure this out.

Okay, he is starting to wake - he’s all snuggled up in a sling on me right now - what a nice little babe!

Think I’ll go for another walk this morning before a meeting for preschool and pickup of my older one.

you all take care!

hey buds!
just wanted to let you all know that for some reason my buddyslim email is still not letting me respond…don’t know why, but if i don’t write you back that’s why. it’s sooooo frustrating as these days i have such little time on line and especially with two hands! my blogs seem to work but everything else, including forums, is super-duper slow. the email just flat out won’t work without crashing. i usually web browse in firefox but am trying safari as well. not much luck. i wrote dr. marc once about it but never heard back (it was during all the drama so i’m sure he was busy). anyone else have this happen? i have emptied all the caches and cookies as well…
i hate this because i can’t really respond or support anyone! if you see me on your blog and there’s no comment that’s why as well!

i’ll keep trying - hope all is well!

hey buddies!

i’m stealing a moment to write a little blog. about time, eh? have a baby and forget your friends - ha ha ha. the new baby is so sweet and we are doing really well over here, but, i definitely am short on “me” time. my hubby just went back to work today and i made it thru my first solo day - yay me!

so, some things i’ve noticed that i was going to blog on along the way…

- dropped 20 pounds in one week. at first, had the baby and only lost 10 lbs - the baby was 8 lbs - i was like, what? then, the pounds kept coming off each day unitl this weekend. i seem to be settling, for now, at around 180 - still 20 lbs from where i started the pregnancy.

- rough sleep last night plus first day solo led to - drum roll please…a drive thru at burger king for cheezy tots. I NEVER eat drive thru… plus i had started the day with a chocolate salty oat -basically a giant cookie/scone kinf of thing. Now, i did scarf down a huge salad with my dinner, but come on! seriously, though, it is always so noticeable with me how lack of sleep leads to overeating. i am dying for sugar right now and i am exhausted. last night was the worst sleep night since day one and i kind of napped today but not really.

- i love moving my body and walking around again. but am trying to take it easy so i continue to recover from birth.

- oh, by the way, i ended up in labor for 3.5 days…sent home from hospital twice. YOWZA!!!! no water birth - was talked out of it and was actually so exhausted from 3 days of pain that i opted for an epidural. it was actually a good step for me in not suffrering more than i need to. i can do the, that’s just how it is,a nd that’s just pain, kind of thing, instead i chose a way to eliminate some pain which acutally helped me have energy tp push the baby out. turned out that was crucial as his arm was soming out with his head and his little heart rate was decelarting a bit. midwife said my pushing was amazing and avoided a c-section. pretty good! and now i’ve had noth a non-medicated birth and a medicated one - i feeel like i get both ways now.

- hmm, what else…i want to join my wildcats but am finding my time is so carzy-limited right now that i’m not sure i’d be giving it my all. will take the rest of the week as a solo day time parent to see where i come out

- gotta go call mom back - just remembered she called on sunday - OOPS!

- be healthy out there, would ya?