feeling good and bad…
well, it’s super early in the morning here - really middle of the night or dark o’clock as we call it around here. Just couldn’t sleep any more so decided to get up. Found that this is where i came to first.
Mind been a buzz with the place and the people.
I just took a step away from one team to join another and I feel guilty while also knowing it is what i need.
This seems to be the life of a woman.
Taking care of one’s self leaves someone else not cared for. Or something like that. I always see Buddy Slim as this little universe where my inner and outer struggles come to life in a very focussed and sharp way. I notice my social tendencies, my desires to be supportive, my overwhelm and flee response, my start something and then stop patterns, it’s all right here in black and white. How I handle change, conflict, connection - all right here. You all are an important part of my life. As with everything, my time is limited and i feel the need to prioritize how i am here. This is acutally a skill i have been building since joining BS. Learning how to make choices, prioritize what’s important to me, recognize my strengths and limits, and do what i need to do to take care of myself while i try to be a good person.
With all that being said, a few things have recently happened here for me in addition to and not really related to leaving my team.
I’m sorry to the toes that i now step on here, but i feel the great need to be honest. I have felt guilty about not giving enough to buddies who really want alot of feedback and support. At the same time, I have felt pushed away by those demands and the increasingly religious nature of them. I am all for anyone bringing their values and religious beliefs to the forum. People should feel free to do and talk as works for them. I think the prayers and support that happens around here is amazing and tremendous and I wouldn’t change that for the world. But, I just feel a little alienated and put off by the preaching of how people should be and how Christians are. I feel myself nervous to write this and nervous to declare that we are not all Christians and yet we are all good people - or I know I am. It’s all gotten to be a bit too much for me. And, i noticed that I backed off the site as this started increasing.
I am not about censoring anyone or leaving religious beliefs out of the mix - i feel that if it works for you then that is what matters. BS has taught me alot about prayers and beliefs. I just ask that you all remember that we all come from different points of view and that should be ok.We also all come from different places around time.
Some of us can be here more than others and it fluctuates greatly. We all have varying needs around connection and friendship and support. I really like when all the differences are supported rather than criticized. We also all may not find what we need here at Buddy Slim and that, too, needs to be okay. I dunno, i just think we all need to be given a break - we have come here for various reasons but mainly with a similar goal - towards health. In that, guilt and demands just don’t feel so healthy to me.
Clearly I am going in some sort of circle here. Perhaps I will just shut my mouth - I’ve been practicing that very thing, but it finally got to me. I need to be honest and true and hopefully gentle and respectful. This is a miraculous place and I’d like to see it stay that way.
I hope this makes some sort of sense. I appreciate you all so very much!
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Debbie I respect you greatly and I always have, you are an awesome person, a very good person and that is what religion is all about. We don’t have to give it any particular name as long as eveyone is as kind as you that is all that matters. If my passion for faith has offended you in any way please accept my apology. If you have felt judged in any way by my words or actions I apologize for that too! That was never my intention. To be very honest with you many times I have said I wish everyone could worship under one faith, He is after all one God. I guess the people who belong to non-denominational churches do that, that’s great! Again I respect you and your concerns. Just be yourself and do whatever it is you need to do for You, Your family and never mind what the rest of us say or do. This is your forum as much as it is the rest of ours. Find the friends that make you the happiest and stick with them. Life is too short to do anything else. Not trying to preach to you just want you to be happy and find your niche. Soon you will have two little bambinos, that is so exciting!!!! Luv Ya! sista!
I understand 100% where you are coming from. I myself am a religious person and I think it is great to put God first in my weight loss trial, BUT I also think that is very personal and therefore I focus on that part independantly. I would freely share my beliefs with anyone interested. BUT there is a time and place I believe and this is a WEIGHT LOSS SUPPORT SITE
I understand 100% where you are coming from. I myself am a religious person and I think it is great to put God first in my weight loss trial, BUT I also think that is very personal and therefore I focus on that part independently. I would freely share my beliefs with anyone interested. BUT there is a time and place I believe and this is a WEIGHT LOSS SUPPORT SITE. When I was pregnant I blogged about that and maintaining my weight, I talk about my family and kids and current struggles as we all seek support. I have found a set of friends that are on that page with me and that is where I draw my strength from. I have been preached to on her and I respect there views and there passion for it. But again…there is a time and place for all things.
I am super excited about your baby coming and can’t wait to hear more about that as well as the aftermath of childbirth and weight loss. Heaven knows that is the boat I am in right now. Keep plugging along and thanks for adding me as a friend.
I think that you put my very thoughts into very respectful words. Kudos to you!
While i am a Christian, and love to share my faith — i am NOT here to judge anyone else’s beliefs! I want every one to have the peace and joy that i have and i will pray for you to know Him.
THAT being said, i realize that this IS a weight loss forum and i don’t ever want to make anyone feel that they can’t come here. I can’t help who i am and cannot change, but, am glad you are able to be honest and hopefully in spite of differences, we can still support each other.
Debbie, you have also put my thoughts out there, in this blog you wrote today, but in a much, much, much nicer way. Keep staying true to yourself, and how you feel. We should all be so brave. Prayer is one thing, but witnessing and judging is definitely another. I too have seen this site change so much, and I don’t doubt that it is becasue many are offended…by the selfishness, the tantrums, the critical and the know-everything attitudes. Phewww, I think I just lost 20 lbs.
I agree with you. We are all our own people and you have the absolute right to vocalize your thoughts & feelings regarding how you are treated and how things are going. I believe in God but I would never in any way, shape, form or fashion push my beliefs onto someone else. I think you are a terrific person. I feel honored to be a part of your little buddy group.
Boy o boy, I gather that something like this needed to be said and you said it beaUtifully. Well done!! You are a messenger of peace and I hope that those who are in conflict read your words or at least start to feel this. We all are different and have different paths, but lately the righteousness and religious tones have really made me wonder. But, everyone has to see and hopefully they come to read blogs like this that open eyes. There is no one way. Many paths and many unique points of views.
Thank you Debbie. You are a great buddy. And if there is one thing I have learned here. There is no one right way to be a great buddy. You have a busy life and you keep on doing your best for you and your loved ones.
Have a good one! *hugs*
Debbie, I was totally unaware of the wars and groupings but fully aware about self-righteous preaching. I chose to continue doing what was the best for me on here… but those roayl exits that never meant to be exits really and good bye cruel world dramatic posts are just too much…
You are right, it diverts attention from the mission of the site. This is not a “Can you be a star of BS site” competition with votes given by the number of comments on the blogs.
We are all adults here and tolerance is an adult quality. Temper tantrums and attention seeking are getting boring… going in circles.
And if someone needs to continue with self-inflicted torture… oh boy, they will find it everywhere, in real life, in their own family, on the Internet weight loss site, on the moon, in deep ocean, on the train, in the rain, in a box, with a fox, in the house, with the mouse, and no, they don’t want Green eggs and ham… there is a different payoff for all the drama…
And again, I will go back to doing what I need to do here with the weight loss and thanks for being honest about your reaction to the change in the site. Hopefully, it will bounce back to a healthy and safe place it used to be.
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
tol·er·ance Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[tol-er-uhns] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun 1. a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward those whose opinions, practices, race, religion, nationality, etc., differ from one’s own; freedom from bigotry.
2. a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward opinions and practices that differ from one’s own.
3. interest in and concern for ideas, opinions, practices, etc., foreign to one’s own; a liberal, undogmatic viewpoint.
4. the act or capacity of enduring; endurance
Amen sister (no pun intended)
I agree with everything you say, wholeheartedly and because of the truth in your words is partly one of the reasons why I took a breather. I come with a renewed attitude and a more balanced way of using BS. As far as religions are concerned, I couldn’t agree more. I believe in God, I love God and I believe in the power of prayer. I was raised Roman Catholic, but that is not to say that I practice, nor do I believe EVERYTHING my church has taught me….who is right, who is wrong? All I have to say is WHO CARES!! I believe the basic rule in ALL religions is that we should be good to one another—the Golden Rule if you may!!
Whatever you do, keep your opinions open and honest and keep them coming, I respect and admire people who can speak their mind and hold their ground. People who do not shy away from hurting anyone’s feelings and compromise the truth as a result.
You know Debbie, I find that you and I are a lot of like in more ways than I ever imagined, why had I not taken notice of that before? Again, renewed perpective on BS!!