i’m in trouble!
oh no!!! so first of all here’s the warning - this is a long one i bet…
well, time for a confessional from me and an OH NO!!! I am really concerned about my ability to get back on the healthy and wise and sane and good for me choices i was making back when i was losing weight. you all know i’m pregnant, so i can’t lose weight now and in fact i am gaining as the babe and i need. that is all good by me. what is not, is that i just keep letting those old patterns of binging, sneaking cookie dough, snacking in front of the tv get me. they especially get me when i am tired or stressed or when my son is sick and i’m at home for days on end being a caregiver with little other input or output.
so as i was noshing way to late last night and getting a grip i thought - OH NO!!! i kept imagining i would get right back to it when the baby comes, but, hmm, let’s see, baby means no sleep, extra stress, more caregiving without going out as much, plus the move, etc…and, historically, i lost my baby weight and then gained it all back with eating well after the baby had come.
now, let me assure you - I AM SO EXCITED about this little one to come!! I do love to be a stay at home mom and feel lucky about that! And, i will not do any dieting, etc while i am pregnant or even nursing initially. Baby’s health will come first.
BUT, i am in trouble if i don’t get a handle on these reactions to stress, fatigue, and that cooped-up feeling i get after a few days of being inside.
Stress and fatigue are a part of my life right now and my life to come for at least a year. I do pretty well these days during the day (who am i kidding, i just ate the leftover cookie dough). Ok, i do pretty well most of the day and then am in let loose mode at night. Also, when the lil one is sick my exercise goes b/c i can’t get out as much. Otherwise I do ok on the exercise - not great, but ok.
I just see the trajectory - if i keep using these ways of eating as my stress, tired, lonely for adults outlet then i won’t succeed in the ways i was before. I remember that I can do this. I did for about 4 months. It wasn’t all smooth - there were certainly bumps, and i am okay with that. I loved the feeling of seeing myself change my life. Now, i see myself changing my pants’ size.
This is not just a hormonal thing. I am not upset at all. Just being realistic and attempting to shake myself out of denial and back into action…
hmm, gotta do it, but not sure i’m ready to let go of the comfort eats - ugh!!! i lived in this place for so long and was so glad to see it going bye bye…bummer that it is back…the clinging to the perceived comfort of food and tv…
this will help i am sure. writing really has. i am committed to my exercise forum again. i will start small like i did before. i am happy about so many ways that i eat and move. i want to get rid of those pieces that don’t fit and don’t match who i am. i want the laziness to go away and the energy to return! i just got a flash of our old buddy chai and her love of caffeine. i don’t drink much now that i’mpregnant, but a cup of tea may be just what i need!
okay, thanks for listening!!!!
ps - i’m 6 months now and due in September! We are closing on our house in two weeks! So loads of things are good! And, Austin has been fever free all day long!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He is on the mend!!!!
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Oh good Austin is better. It means you can get out and enjoy walking.
Debbie, you are right about catching those mental games and excuses. You are right that you need to gain weight for the baby but the baby wouldn’t thrive on cookie dough or other sugary things.
Well, you know what to do. Just writing it down is a huge step, no matter how many times we say the same old truths to ourselves, we have to hear it over and over.
Come on girl…you can do it.
Okay, so yeah, it was a long blog. But there were four words that stood out to me like a sore thumb…I CAN DO THIS! I have really gotten to know you lately and you know what? I have the utmost faith in you. Of course you can do it. It may be a year down the road, but look at the things that you ARE still doing Deb. You are still logging on here. You are still exercising when you can. You are going to be fine and if I have to make it my life’s mission to make it so, then I will!! P.S. I gave Chai your email and now I am copying that part of your blog and sending it her, lol! Love ya!
I have heard that there are only 2 times you can lose or gain fat cells…during adolescence and pregnancy. My sister had always struggled with her weight and had a baby at 40. While she was pregnant, she ate really well..and now she is normal weight. Amazing…so…it might be easier than you are thinking after the baby come because of that! Just remember to love yourself as much as you love that baby!
I’m glad Austin is fever free today!!! I feel so bad when my little ones are sick!! Looks like you have done pretty good with the weight gain!!! I know you can lose it when the time comes. You have such a positive personality, it’s wonderful!!! Thanks for all your support. And we will be here for you after the baby is born.
congrats
So glad Austin is better and congrats on the 6 months!
Debbie, Debbie, Debbie. Small steps girl, you are keeping up with the exercise, and I KNOW you will lose weight after the baby, don’t doubt yourself. And We will be here to help you! Hugs, Kama
have you and your doc made a goal of how much weight you are going to gain? we make goals of how much we want to lose, but if you don’t have a number in mind, the numbers start creeping where they shouldn’t.
I always lose a little weight my last month and a half… do you? i am just to “full” to be able to eat much, so my weight gain was usually during the middle 3 months (this time, the first 8 months…. why i am here….)
Set your goals, stick to them, be healthy for you and that sweet baby.
Debbie as a mother of four I can identify with everything you are saying. My oldest daughter had so much colic she did not sleep very much. One day I was exhausted and she could not even take a short nap so I could rest a little. She cried a lot, poor little one was so uncomfortable all the time. Long story short, I crawled in the crib with her to physically rock her to sleep. Guess who fell asleep? My husband arrived and found my daughter just staring at me next to her in the crib. He picked her up and left me there, he didn’t have the heart to wake me up, talk about a back ache! My point is I know all the wonderful stories you could share with me also about Austin that tug at your heart strings. Maybe you can focus a lot of your attention on those memories sharing as many as you can with him. How about getting a “big brother” scrapbook going with him? Doing so might help you to think about all the memories you will make with the miracle you are presently holding and take your mind off of food. So proud of you for evaluating your situation and doing something about it. Do you know what the new addition is going to be yet?
I am in a bit of a funk myself and feel quite lousy about my choices. I think some ladies here gave some great advice.
Tonight I get my behind moving in a good way… and not toward the refrigerator!
Take care and enjoy some good fresh air