thrive

I have this thing where when i eat spicy food i always want something sweet afterwards. well, last night i had indian food (just frozen so not as fattening or expensive as the real thing). after dinner, my son and i dove into some necatarines and watermelon and it totally changed that lingering flavor in my mouth that usually makes me head for the chocolate. so simple, and, yet, i had not really done it before. Watermelon is just so darn tasty right now!  Doing that seemed to prevent the night time nibbles as well!

going to go walk to the post office and get 1cent stamps in a little while. is it just me or is the post constantly going UP ???!!!

i feel like that’s where i’ve been in relation to here and to my eating. i’m off somewhere lost in the other pulls of life. and. as always, it doesn’t really work to leave this part of life behind. trouble is time. trouble is me making excuses. amd i am percolating the best excuse ever for eating too much and gaining weight! my little baby! well, no worries on me gaining enough - i have hit a put the weigh on stride that would feel alot better if it was going the other way or if i knew it wasn’t so related to cape cod potato chips. can i just tell you that i never eat potato chips, but these days, i’m all about them with cottage cheese. anyone else grow up with that combo? anyway, i’m not moving enough and i’m eating ALOT! i dropped out of my own write your eats forum b/c i don’t want to encourage anyone in these habits. i am trying to get  agrip and have days or parts of days where i do, but the rest of the time i have slipped back in time, to the land of the lost sensibility around eating and exercise. i will keep trying and will put down the extra eats more often. and, i will get my butt moving again!

okay that’s it - love you all - and will try not to be such a stranger here while we are house hunting.

as usual, i’m all good now. all that life is still there, i’m just not as swept up in it. canceled a preschool tour today and just wandered around this morning with the kid and dog. nice way to spend a morning. I get to go to prenatal yoga today and although i’m tired right now i knw i will love it!

you all continue to rock!

i’m feeling like that these days…close to overwhelm. close to despair. very tired and kind of worn out. not really depressed believe it or not, but not at my best. I’m really running into that time crunch thing that happens whenever i need to do something else in my day. I’m having a hard time with the moving because i am scared of leaving the little community i have here in my neighborhood, but this town is VERY expensive and has only okay schools so it’s just not a smart place to buy anything. I am wanting to be settled but afraid of the choices. Am I making any sense? Not sure, as I feel in a hurry now - have to get the kid dressed and dog out soon.

Please don’t worry about me - I am generally fine, but where I am seeing this all go is into my eating and activity - I am exercising less regularly and am starting to really go wild on the eats. I even hid some cookie dough last night from my hubby - UH OH! We all know what that means and it’s no good. And my hubby wouldn’t even care, I was just ashamed…I’m eating like I did right before I came here - just really overdoing everything!

I forgot to say that I am tired, too, not from lack of sleep, although a little, but mainly b/c of allergies. It is so toxic for me - this combo of tired and overwhelmed - it really messes with my eats and self care. Then food becomes the caregiver and it sooooooo is NOT a caregiver.  And, it’s all so silly because our life is incredibly blessed and we don’t have alot of the worries that we could have that my friends here on BS have. So, friends, know that I know I am being ridiculous and I’m trying to just be grateful. This is when I question my brain chemistry - where is the gratefulness and the optimism? Why does it leave me so quickly?

Oh my, this turned out to be a long one. I can’t even really edit it as I have to go, so if you made it this far - thanks! I am going to try and pull myself back together!

Have you all seen the article on Yahoo yet? The new Wii Fit game calls people, and most importantly kids, FAT - UGH! Check out this link so that you can be informed consumers. Apparently the game uses the BMI of the player to determine a fitness level and then labels people according to it’s numbers. Well, as all know that BMI is only so useful of a tool for anyone, but for kids to get labeled in such a way is just awful and from a game! There are so many body types and structures that it is unfair to make these sweeping statements taht could really effect the way a person sees him or her self. I am all for a game that finally is one of motion rather than inactivity - we can all use that, but come on Nintendo does anorexia/bulimia really need our help in telling people they are not right the way they are. UGH!!!

Anyway, here’s the link:

http://us.i1.yimg.com/videogames.yahoo.com/feature/wii-fit-or-wii-fat-/1213585

i have n o idea what to write today i just had to use that title so here i am! i could ramble for awhile, but i think i’ll just leave it at that and tell you all to make the weekend work for you! enjoy yourself and your time. remember that it is actually a treat to yourself to exercise and eat well - that’t really what your bod wants even if you want ice cream our minds do not always have to be the master!

peace out!

the last few days. i wasn’t around here, much, and then, BOOM, i was eating way too much and way out of a healthy zone. I was just telling, Lyssa, that it’s a good thing I’m pregnant. Not really though, this is not food that the babe needs, it’s just stuff that has little nutritional value. Not too damaging, but not the best. The emotional eats were running wild over the weekend - over the heartbreak of not returning to the home of SF or to the family of DC. Of feeling a bit alone, unsettled, and un supported here. I am doing much better now and even then i was alternating between happy and sad. Just needed to be there and it will come back I’m sure. We are slowing things down a little with all the househunting as well. As renters, we are in a good place and don’t HAVE to move so we just need to calm down and have a little time to be settled. I, too, have started planning the support I’ll need for my son when the new one comes - getting the plan in place helps tremendously.

so all that said 0 here i am - heavier (much) than last week - but i was due for more of a gain for the baby-o - and tired. what became really clear to me yesterday was that i fell off the water drinking and that really contributed to my fatigue - that plus allergies right now. but i remember Shanna writing about that eons ago - missing water and feeling the effects. well, that was me. i am about to go guzzle some more and i’m giving me and the baby a treat of good food and less crapola!

i have continued to go to yoga and walk around a bit, but not quite enough, so that’s getting amped up, too!

Drink your water, friends, it really does make a difference!

Okay, well, there isn’t much I really know, but I now know that after all the agonizing on where to move and for what reasons we are going no where. It’s VERY exciting to have a decision and to be able to get out of the holding pattern. I tend to “wait” for thins anyway and this whole process was one more reason to wait and not do. So, even though we are kind of bummed, it feels soooooooooo good to know that we will be here in the Boston area. We are excited to start the looking for a place to buy process. With that comes many questions about where in this area we will live, but, you know what, we can do it and we will!

I had the best workout this morning even though i was only at the gym for 20 minutes. See, I made the dog/kid walk really fast for 30 minutes - hustling to get to the post office as early as possible to mail already late mother’s day cards. There was also the threat of rain giving me a little extra speed in my step plus there was this class at the gym that I haven’t been to since last year that I just remembered. It’s an aerobics/strength building class and is geared for seniors. I used to do it when i was first working out again - to go easy on my back and because i was so out of shape. Well, recently I saw a pregnant  woman in there and last night i remembered the class and thought, hey that’d be fun to get a dancy workout in…so i hustled to get to the gym in time for that as well. Turns out, we all made it at 10:05. I tied the dog up outside, dropped the kiddo at childcare very easily even though he hadn’t been in over a month and then i lept up the 4 flights of stairs to the class.

Yes, they make you climb up 4 flights of stairs just to go work out.

Today, I actually ran it whereas on Wed, for yoga, i was dragging my a$$ up there. Anyway, I popped into the back of the class, got really mixed up doing grapevines the wrong way and i never getting the salsa step she was doing, but i stayed and played. Just for 20 minutes. My heart rate was high enough for the baby, my dog was tied up outside a place he has never been before, and my kiddo has been a little clingy so i wanted to keep it brief. Oh, yes, there was still the impending rainstorm, too, and we had to walk home. So then I ran down the stairs, got the kid, the dog, and the push tricycle and hustled it home in 20 minutes. The rain had started so we hurried to get inside. It was marvelous!!!!

Well, now that i wrote all that i don’t really want to talk about the peanut butter sandwhich backwards. Very quickly (LOL) - i ate an orange for snack after the gym and guzzled more water. For lunch I heated up a frozen Indian veggie-filled meal that i ended up sharing with my son. I was still hungry after that so I decided to eat this little heel of seed bread with p-nut butter. Then, kiddo wanted one so i made more for each of us, then another - so we ended up having more than i needed to. really up to the last piece i was still hungry…

anyway, there it is!

have a great weekend buddies!

as if the extra food i’ve been eating isn’t enough - now i am chomping on my nails…

we are all anxiously awaiting word on hubby’s job. we told the 2 companies we needed to know by Friday and here we are still not hearing anything. he still has a good job, so that part is great - it’s just all this freaking not knowing that is killing me. I try to be ok with the not knowing of life - there is so much that we really just can’t know, but this has been going on since February. One of the companies has interviewed him 9 times - (with about 7 different people).  Both companies are “restructuring” etc. We are ticking with the bun in the oven and just wanting to get where we are going as one move is to DC, one to SF, and one means stay here, but look to move out of our current place. I’m due in Sept and we’d just like to get on with it, you know?

So, there go a few more calories and a few more fingernails. I’ve been trying to behave myself, but it’s getting harder and harder. The, “I’m pregnant and getting big anyway” excuse allowed me to overeat last night  - the way i used to always do…

breathe, breathe, breathe…that’s all we can do.

you all want to send out a good thought for us that we at least hear something definitive tomorrow? My husband already has no nails and at least one of us needs to be able to pick coins up off the ground…