thrive

uh-oh, just saw what time it is, and i better get some zzzs soon. i woke up around 3:30 and just couldn’t get back to sleep. the mind is swirling. have been up long enough now to be getting hungry, too. will have some water and try and get a little sleep before it’s time to get up for the day.

Hope you all make a great Friday for yourselves! Looks like I may be napping if my son naps so I may not see you later!

i feel like i should be living with snow white (aka Anj), because this gal is so grumpy right now. I think i have it pinpointed to stress. My Mom is coming in town tomorrow and while for many folks with kids that is a big help, for me, it is very stressful. I’m sure it will be fun and she will be helpful - but preparing for the visit just stresses me out. Getting ready for the criticisms and looks and attitudes…and ust all the other stuff - food, beds, towels, a plan…

Also, today is GORGEOUS outside and I had planned a babysitter so I could go to prenatal yoga BUT I’d rather be outside. My playgroup is meeting today instead of tomorrow and at a house that actually has a yard and I just want to do that. One of the women is leaving tomorrow for 6 weeks and if we move I may not see her again. Last time we moved we were gone within 2 weeks of accepting the job. Anyway, the babysitter just called and is coming early so I can run errands and come back early to get Austin to go to group. Yoga is going to wait. I just don’t want to run around so much today - would rather stay here and play with you! Too many things to do in one day - that can get me and it did today…having sweet fantasies, will instead have some lemonade or lemon fizzy water and some real food.

Sorry for the grumps - I am almost forgetting that it will pass - but it will, right? YES YES YES!!!!!!!

Morning all!

Just wanted to say thanks for keeping the blog titles winner free! Hope you all got to see it! I’ll just say that my 2 favs made me VERY HAPPY!!!

Have a great day!

Had to post again because I just had the best snack ever and it is so simple and you all know it, but it was a half an apple with 2 tbsp of peanut butter (nothing added like sugar and trans fats). It was just so yummy. I, of course, wanted to eat large quantities of bread-like food for snack but my son wanted apples and cinammon and so i just added in the p-nut butter. Could have stayed with one tbsp, but didn’t. It is good protein for me…Anyway - yum! Normally bread or pretzels would end up getting the spread that the apple really does best with! I am going to remember this when i find myself getting all carb crazy!

Hey Buddies!

Is everyone rocking it today? The sun is shining and so am I! That big ice tea probably helped, too! My one cup of caffeine for the day!

Anyway, wanted to ask a favor of my Slim Buddies who watch the Biggest Loser - if you see it on time tonight and decide to post - can you leave any people names out of your Blog title? Sometimes I can’t watch it til later and I don’t want the elimination news to catch me by surprise! I’d be much obliged! Also, I think some feelings got hurt last week, so let’s be extra respectful of each other when posting about the contestants  - we all have different views on who should be in and why - just like we probably have different views on lots of other things - except loving our Buddies and wanting healthier lives! Thanks so much!

Now, everyone get some green veggies in, some fruit, and some movement and have a wonderful day. Oh, and don’t forget to breathe!!!

Go Buddies! Go Biggest Losers! Personally, I want Ali to win… let’s see…

Helloooooooooooo Buddies!

After last night’s confessional I feel much better and ready to keep on keeping on!

Who else is up for a good day?

I’m in for one - that’s the plan, anyway! Some time to myself, some stretching, a shower, and easy on the eats. That sounds really good to me as I know it will feel good by day’s end. It’s amazing how doing little things like that will make everything better. So, to my lovely buddies, do try and enjoy your day.  Notice what really feels good to you and notice what doesn’t. For instance, last night after my bender on snack foods, my stomach objected, it took a little while but then there it was - that ugh feeling. I was trying to meditate before bed and my stomach just hurt which kept me from doing what I wanted - meditating and then going to sleep. Nice to see how that kind of eating has a direct negative effect on what I’d really like to do. So, today is anew and I’m back to making better choices, including the me time and the blogging that keeps me sane

Hope all you buddies take yourselves and your goals seriously today!

Every morning we are reborn. Buddha.

hey y’all! i’m back from our trip and have been here but very peripherally. doing my forums mainly and trying to start a new habit of meditating every day. Have missed reading all the blogs and commenting! You all are so amazing and i see the struggles, too. I hope we all keep choosing ourselves!

i have been wanting to blog for awhile but have been feeling that time crunch thing, as well as some sort of pull back from the site. well, it culminated in both Fri and tonight binges. not as bad as in the past, but, still, the behavior is there lurking.

i stayed up late and watched tv friday night with my friend, food, then tonight i kept going for another snack. i thought i was done with it today. i had seen the pattern emerging, felt the bad mood yesterday that was attempting to settle in and i countered it by talking to my hubby, complaining, and going to sleep. then, tonight, seemingly out of nowhere i just kept going back for more…guess the attempt to squelch the binge demon yesterday didn’t fully work. Also, my hubby is out of town for the night and alone and TV tend to be a bad combo for me…

anyway, my mood is still good, but i am so disappointed. i don’t want to be on this up and down ride any more.  i know that i will move on tomorrow. i know this happens and you just have to keep going. i know that i did not go to the ultimate binge food - cookie dough - even though i kept thinking about it all night, BUT i am bummed.

Feels better just to write it out.

I am certainly not giving up. I have learned that by now - i can never give up on myself again - it is a dangerous thing to do that. I really do believe that we hold our own destinies in our hands. Our choices big and small create our experiences (of course with lots of other things combined). I know that i can choose what i truly want. I didn’t Friday night or tonight, but i will again and i tend to 90% of the time now. Well, maybe less, but still, I will keep fighting for myself versus against myself. I have also learned that little tiny steps and VERY SPECIFIC plans are good for me. The problem this week was no alone time. no down time. and not much exercise. I will have babysitting tomorrow (for 3 appts but that is still time alone), i will go to the gym on Tuesday and Wednesday, and, I will be okay. I am really serious about not letting myself go again. Go sad, go fat, go down - at least not without a fight !

Ok, not really, but I am a dork and I did really want to have a good April Fool’s joke for you, but there’s no topping Jane, so I won’t even try!

Felt like doing a little review before I set off out of town tomorrow for the week. Thought it might be good for me to see where I am and what I know…

1. Still drink tons of water and always in the morning

2. Seem to be eating just right to maintain my current weight. While I’d like to be smaller, the preggo life is about bellies getting bigger :)  And that’s good.

3. I, generally, like how I am eating right now and my relationship with food. Awhile back I wrote about being in a Bad relationship with food and I truly was. Now, not so much. Now, those of you in the write your eats forum can see that I eat a fair amount and I’m having a few too many cookies and scones and lemonades, but I’m not really binging these days and generally I am eating less. I’m not using food to make me feel better. When I try that, I am very aware now of how it doesn’t work.  I let myself go wild one weekend on potatoes and then I was done, felt horrible on that Monday, and will not choose that again. I am going easier on myself while hopefully not being too lax.

4. My exercise is a little down lately - not as much gym time but still lots of activity. I have had to prioritize doctor’s appts including mental health. That feel smart. I seem to be active enough for my body right now. I will get back to the gym when we return from our trip. I will get to more yoga.

5. My mood is feeling better than ever. Not that I am immune from sadness or depression, but that relationship has changed as well at least for now. I am really ready to fight back in a way I never was before.

6. My confidence is way up. I am having that feeling that i can do anything. That is nice to have. I feel better in my friendships, too.

7. I am getting lots done around here (and there is always more to do).

8. I am feeling like a good mom most of the time and really noticing the moments when I am not there energetically - tracing it to allergies, sleep, and rushing around. I am breathing more. We also have started a very consistent counting thing we do to help when our son is acting up.

9. I am actually thinking of buying clothes and being okay about looking bigger than I want to be in them - I want to look good though and nice clothes that fit look good no matter what size you are! I guess I am feeling ok with myself.

10. I am writing down my eats, feelings, and exercise everyday (well sometimes I’m a day late )

Okay, that’s good for now, my son just woke up so I’m off! I am still rushing too much…that is going to be the next goal. Slow life down!!!!

peace out,

deb