thought for thought
so this one isn’t really about food. well, as much as anything for me can NOT be about food. it all ties in, right? my moods effect my eating effects my mood effects my thoughts effects my food effects my thoughts. or something like that.
i’m not really in a bad mood today. kind of like yesterday i’m just a bit off and where it’s leaving me is in this place i have been so many times and for so long. i just can’t seem to get any real stuff done. and the reason i can’t isn’t the weather or the pregnancy or the blues, it’s just down right fear.
fear of f–king up, fear of looking stupid, fear of not being liked, fear of making the wrong choice, fear of not being able to do anything right or just not do anything at all. the bummer is that at the beginning of this journey here i was finding that my continual small succeess were leading me down the path of believing in myself. i was really starting to think i could do anything! i mean if i could change my lifestyle and incorporate exercise, stretching, yoga, and good eats into my regular life then really i could do anything. also, if i could come here and pour out my emotions, when before i was scared to even write in my journal for fear someone would find out how crazy i really am, but if i could do this, then i can do anything. unfortunately that feeling isn’t around so much lately. maybe b/c i’m not doing quite so much towards the health, or maybe b/c my kid is sick so i’m home, or maybe b/c the pregnancy came and is so exciting and just taking some time still to figure out. or b/c i am tired. it could also be the fact that we may be moving AGAIN soon but we don’t know. life ie ever on hold for that.
so those are some of today’s reasons and or excuses. but really it is fear. i mean, let me tell you how silly this is. i want to make a stuffed animal out of some old clothes, but i’m afraid i can’t do it so i’m not trying. i do get overwhelmed, too, as i start to think of other projects to make. but really, it is fear that seems to be numero uno. it used to really get me around food and exercise and that is better. perhaps i am letting fear get a hold of me more since i haven’t been as active on my exercise the last 2 weeks. see that quick move to excuse, man, i’m good. anyway, that’s where i am right now. a little bit stuck in myself.
maybe i’ll go try and make that stuffed frog now…i’ll let you know how it goes!
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Definitely go make that stuffed frog! That’s a great idea, no big deal if it turns out differently than the way you planned. How far along in your pregnancy are you?
i made half a frog! just have to make some legs and find some buttons for eyes!
Anne Frank wrote:
“The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature.”
Don Miguel Ruiz:
“Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive — the risk to be alive and express what we really are.”
Dorothy Thompson:
“Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.”
Eleanor Roosevelt:
“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.”
HOPE IT HELPS!!
One last thing….once you awknowledge the issue, you are able to deal with it….ACCEPTANCE is the first step…you accept that you are fearsome…now let’s do something about it!
Debbie…you are AMAZING!!! You should know you can DO ANYTHING you put your mind to!!
Sometimes, I know I get all up in my head and it starts going too fast, too loud, and I start freaking out about things. I find when I’m calm, well rested, this doesn’t happen often…and if I can distract myself for a bit, and think about whatever’s got me down or freaking out in a logical manner…there’s really no problem at all.
I suggest a break for you! Loud music, lots of dancing followed by a good book or movie. Something to take you outside of yourself for a bit, so when you come back…you realize how wonderful you are and just how much you CAN do!!