I feel like I haven’t written anything in so long. My earlier posts this week were such rants!

I can see these little changes happening and it’s so very exciting. I am getting all swept up in the momentum of the change and can’t wait to see what comes next. It’s such a nice place to be - very active in the change but not too focussed on exact outcomes. I do have one hope of dropping down some lbs by my High School Reunion, but other than that I just want to make my lifestyle fit me better. I really DO like to be active. I really DO like to eat smaller portions. I really do like to choose a carrot as a snack. I really do like to feel slim in the morning because I didn’t overeat the night before. I really do like going to the gym, to yoga, and to swim (this one I haven’t done lately). I really do like to repeat myself

It’s just so amazing to see that I now do my stretches for my back everyday - I never did anything everyday. I got so excited all day Wed because I knew I was going to the gym that night. I keep going to bed by 11 and not watching TV. These are all huge for me.

And, the big topper, was last night - there was this huge snow storm that hit here and we got at least a foot in a few hours. Well, my Phys Therpay was cancelled b/c of the snow and earlier in the week I didn’t get to go do my back exercises b/c of sick kid + no childcare. So that was all week with no strength training. I felt like I should really go, but the car was covered completely in snow, the road wasn’t plowed yet and I’m still jsut so new at this whole snow thing. (I grew up in Sav’h, GA and then lived in San Fran, CA for 15 years - so snow was only for skiing vacations). Anyway, my husband recommended I walk to the gym. It’s only about a 20 min walk usually, but I was kind of freaked by the snow. He told me how beautiful it would be and that I’d be safe, so I should do it. So, I went. It was gorgeous and quiet and lovely and a good workout - took me about 30 min to get there, did the strength training, then walked home with some groceries. If felt sooooo good to have gone - challenging both my fear and my muscles! And, I needed it after the dinner of Latkes (potato pancakes) I made!

Anyway, it’s pretty awesome. I’ve always loved the quote, “Be the change you hope to see in the world,” by Gandhi and I was never quite doing it. Always looking outside for change and now here it’s coming from inside. so nice. glad to be here.

 Overeating on the Job

http://hotjobs.yahoo.com/career-articles-overeating_on_the_job-246

Watch out for Snack Platters and Food Pushers

Heather Boerner, for Yahoo! Hot Jobs

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Between coworker birthday cakes, shared holiday-party leftovers, staff meetings with Danishes, and pizza-fueled late-night work sessions, it’s easy to blow your diet while on the job. But it doesn’t have to be.

“People are most successful in healthy eating when they can control their environment, as opposed to being in a negative environment and trying to control themselves,” says nutritionist Katherine Tallmadge, author of “Diet Simple.”

Take Control

Figure out which food temptations you can control.

If you’re the boss, you can tell the person who orders food to bring a platter of fruit instead of cookies to the staff meeting, and ask your staff to stash junk food in drawers.

Not the boss? No problem. Consider these tips:

* Join the office snack committee. “Lobby for fresh fruits and veggies instead of baked goods,” says Tallmadge.

* Plan ahead. If your office doesn’t have a snack committee, or you don’t want to be on it, you can still ask ahead what food will be provided for this week’s late-night work session or staff meeting.

“Lots of people have to do this — diabetics, people with food allergies, vegetarians — so don’t feel self-conscious,” counsels Elisabetta Politi, a dietitian and nutrition manager at the Duke University Diet and Fitness Center.

* Share the health. Be an example to coworkers and set out a bowl of fruit on your desk and invite others to enjoy it. It could start a healthy trend, according to Tallmadge.

* Talk to coworkers. You may not have authority, but you can still ask coworkers to stash their candy and junk food in their drawers instead of leaving it out. Most people won’t mind, says Politi.

Resist Food Pushers

You may run into resistance from people who not only won’t comply with your requests, but will also undermine your diet by actively tempting you with food you don’t want.

With these food pushers, your best bet is to not engage.

“When you tell a food pusher you can’t have something, that you’re on a diet, you’re giving a double message — you’re saying, ‘I really want it, talk me into it,’” Tallmadge says. “It’s always best to simply say, ‘No, thank you,’ and then compliment lavishly the food she brings that is healthy.”

The situation could be more difficult if the food pusher is a friend, and you used to eat junk food together. Politi advises that you two focus on the things you can do together that don’t involve food.

“It’s not about giving up friendships,” she says. “Go for a walk with her and have meals with people who make healthy choices.”

Be Flexible

Finally, the biggest challenge to a dieter’s will power often comes from an all-or-nothing attitude, Politi warns. So don’t fall into it.

“Look at it in perspective: You have 21 meals in every week,” she says. “A few slices of birthday cake a month are no big deal. Most people have at least two meals a day they can control. Focus on that.”

Also on Yahoo! HotJobs:

Is your job making you fat?
Recruiter Roundtable: Fashion, grooming tips
Four steps to better work boundaries
Find a new job near you

Good morning all!

I really appreciate the space to rant yesterday. It totally worked and I felt better and didn’t eat! Just wanted to tell everyone that the support is so helpful and just knowing I can come here really works wonders. As for the boy, he’s feeling a little better today and with a better night sleep for us all I think the ending to the day will be much nicer. I’ll just lay off serving the risotto I get to go to the gym tonight, too, yay!

Hope you all find ways to be kind to yourselves today and value the wonderfulness of you.

Happy Wednesday!

okay, so clearly i’m not running up the stairs right now, but i’m also not eating, so i think this is good.

Those cookies, well 2 stories came from them.

One - I had my hubby take them to work on Monday after I ate some chocolate cake and a few cookies. That was great! A nice attempt to be healthier and smarter.  Then, the next day my son asked where they were and, silly me, I told him, so he cried and we called Dada to bring some home. We don’t eat too many cookies around here…well they don’t. Anyway, so I call my hubby later and find out that he took the cookies to get them away from me and just ended up eating them himself - LOL. He brought home the remaining few and the lad was very happy.

The other bit, is that I found out a friend of mine had been a part of the care package that was wrapped up for us from that playgroup party we missed on Sunday (all very sweet)- the odd part is that she wanted to make sure I knew that she sent all the extra cookies, pumpkin bread, chocolate cake, candy canes, and more cookies. I was flabberghasted (or flabby as it were). She seemed so pleased with herself for sending this all to me along with the other friend (who had just baked a few holiday cookies and dropped these off with the care package) This first person, though, seems to WANT ME TO BE FAT.

Anyone have friends like that?

This is a little new to me, and my friendship to her is a little new, but it seems that she has bonded with me around eating too much and always wants to indulge together, but I am SO not into that. We just went to one movie together and I ate a tub of popcorn with her, but that’s my thing. I go to movies to eat popcorn! And that was like 6 months ago. More recently, I turned down chocolate because I told her I was trying to be healthier and cut down. I’m not sure what to do, it’s kind of making me not want to be around her even though she is so lovely otherwise. I guess I get it, we don’t get to eat with abandon in public very much, but I just don’t dig this especially cuz there seems to be no end in sight for her and no real sense of health or exercise. I totally don’t want her to be different and if it works for her then right on, but it’s just not working for me…

UGH! The last few days are about to drive me mad. My poor little babe is sick, but, man that just wears me out. No sleep, no getting out, no real exercise, nothing but “mama, mama, mama.” We’ve been up all night and early in the morn and I was trying so hard to catch up on zzzs lately. I had been doing well under the demands but, it’s  just getting to me tonight and ALL i want to do is make oatmeal cookie dough or popcorn and EAT!!! Screaming sounds nice right about now, too. Okay, I think I’m breathing again.

So, it really all finally got to me tonight. I was exhausted all day, still fighting the stomach bug, and knew that there was no break in sight: no childcare to go to the gym and no hubby since he has a work function. Then,  I spent an hour making risotto while fending off a begging dog and a “play with me mama” sick kid.  Making dinner around here is often tough, but the topper today was when we sat to eat and he wouldn’t eat the risotto - it’yummy, rice, apple cider, butternut squash, and a little parm cheese. What’s not to love? But the kid wouldn’t try any and for some reason tonight that just did me in. See, we don’t push our kid to eat things he doesn’t want, we just offer what we are eating and let him do what he wants. Occassionally, we’ll ask him to do a “try me” bite to see if he likes something. You know, we don’t want to give him food issues. So what do I do tonight? I make him take 2 bites AND i withhold the fish sticks he wants more of even though I said just try one more bite. When I started to feel upset over slaving over the stove for an hour on the damn rice I knew it was time to chill out which I did. I apologized to him for betraying the try me bite deal and being a grumpster. I mean really, he is only 2. It’s nice that he even knows what risotto is…

Then I had to give him some tylenol for his fever and now he doesn’t like that anymore, so that was food -like battle #2 only I HAD to give it, so that was a fabulous struggle which left us both upset. He is SO going to have control issues now around food. Oh no, what have i done?! I guess I’ll start filling the cookie jar with money for HIS therapy…

Wow, it is so amazing how days go bad without enough sleep and no sign of exercise coming. Maybe I’ll go run up and down the stairs since I can’t leave the house and we have downstairs neighbors so no bouncy videos for me…I did do my stretches for PT and my Hot Rod exercises so that was good, but I really miss the cardio when I can’t get it…

grumble, grumble, grumble.

I’ll lay off the cookie dough, though, and the sweet tot is sleeping now, poor guy.

Anyway, thanks for the rant! And if you want the ristto recipe let me know LOL. It really is yummy.

So, it really must be the holidays because for the last 2 Sundays people have brought us cookies. Now, mind you, I think it is about the sweetest thing to be thought of and remembered, especially since we are still kind of new here. But, and that should be a BIG BUT (like mine), come on friends, you’ve seen me, right? Do I look like I need cookies? How about bringing carrots and celery. Wouldn’t that be a funny holiday tradition to start - delivering home made apple slices, cucumbers, and tomotoes! LOL.

It’s just that it’s been a tough few days after my excited start here at Buddy Slim. I’m a little lost on how to make buddies for real and keep up with it all in my tiny minutes I have to myself and then I am also running into trouble scheduling my gym time, especially when my kid is sick and when my hubby is home on the weekends. That time is always accounted for or it’s the few moments we have together. Today we were talking about holiday gift giving and I said, “all i really want is to go to the gym.” Why is that so hard to do?

This weekend it’s tough for the extra reason of lack of sleep. While i have decided to turn in early lately (which has been a great success), our sweet little lad has had loads of trouble sleeping so we’ve been up in the middle of the night alot. Today I finally got really grumpy about it and just downed the big brownie cake my friend brought over from the Holiday party we missed b/c of all the sickness. Did I mention, too, that I have alittle stomach bug, so really, I shouldn’t eat but I have this annoying habit of eating when I don’t feel well even if it’s my stomach. So here I am nauseous and full and feeling rather fat…

wow, i am so not fun right now. okay, let’s bring this up a notch! I did type in all my exercise stats and didn’t do too horribly. Next week I am committed to beefing up my cardio to everyday 60 min and sneaking in a swim and yoga class somewhere along the way (maybe next weekend).

off i go because i’m bumming myself out

There is this crazy way that time makes me feel CRAZY or crazed. It either moves too slow or too fast. Typically, I feel like I never have enough time for anything but I feel the need to do everything or even nothing. That leads so quickly to overwhelm and then the priorities and desires and needs get all mixed up. Time can make me feel paralyzed. Time and fear that is, but fear will have to come in another post…

This time thing especially gets me around exercise and eating well (i prefer saying that over “diet”). I have finally learned that if I want something I have to make time for it - schedule it and make it happen - then time does really exist. When I don’t plan ahead or make room for the things i want for myself or even need then funnily enough they don’t happen. What I keep bumping into, though, is HOW THE HECK to make the schedule that works, that takes into account the variables of life, and keeps me in balance with responsibilities, others, and self. Argh! Just getting to the gym is such an ordeal sometimes.

I was supposd to go this morning, but my son didn’t want to stay at school and seems to be getting his molars. So, no gym for me. Yesterday no gym either, but I did take my dog out for a super long walk last night in the 30 degree weather. Tonight, even though it’s Friday and Pizza night would be much more fun, I think I’ll go to the gym. I am really liking the way I feel after that night time workout.
I guess the thing about time is that if I do what I really want then time seem to move more slowly. I suddenly have more of it. When I do nothing time feels like it’s running away with me - like i have all of these things i should be doing. There’s this other thing about doing nothing, too, that makes me feel like it’s finally my time, free time, slow time, but that nothing isn’t always so good cuz usually it’s nothing and eating. Eating makes me feel free of time constraints even though really it is so fast and hurried and wild, like i just have to get this in beofre the next part of my day happens or before i have to go to sleep. the truth though is that it’s really anything but free, especially of consequences. it feels like this seductive trick that food and time play on me. I can see them saying “Ah, relax, have a bite to eat or a drink, you’ll feel better if you do.” No, no really, I know there are other things you want to be doing but this is your time, for you, etc, etc…” “Don’t sleep, then you’ll lose all this TIME (and chances for relaxing and eating)” “go ahead and have that second helping, if you eat it really fast it won’t even count” “You deserve that cookie dough for being so exhausted and you know that will relax you and make time feel longer”

tots awke must go…

Go figure, doing actually changes the feel of time pressure…

so, i see that big ole number on my counter and i kind of can’t believe it’s me. i know that the sag over my tummy and the too tightness of my clothes make the number true, but, argh, how did that happen.

i guess it’s not the number so much as the not feeling like myself really. there is this person inside who is not too big for her clothes, who is not filled with embarrassment or anxiety about the weight, who is ready to be who i want to be. Seems like that person doesn’t always win, though…

I’m happy now beacuse i feel like that me is starting to come out or have room to grow (or slim as it were). I feel strong and healthy when I choose to go to the gym or to take a longer walk with my dog and kid or to stretch or run around and play. I feel slim, even when the scale still says 171, because I chose to go to sleep last night instead of eat and watch TV. It is so noticeable to me in the morning, just that simple change of behavior and my mood is so improved, too! If only every choice came so easily every day. I did have a piece of pizza for lunch today, but I’m going to be okay with that and continue to make little steps. I LOVED going to the gym last night from 8-9. Orignally I thought it would mess me up, give me too much energy to go to sleep, but I tested that theory by getting into bed at 10:20 and it worked - I was exhausted (as usual) and sleep was a wonderful treat. Maybe late night eating, TV, and no portion control aren’t the only treats for me! I am working on some new ways to feel indulged - other than food. The gym may someday be just that - wouldn’t that be great?

Now, just got to get there some how today…

is this font big or what? so i joined buddy slim and now i’m really here. i realized when i moved last summer how important community was to me and so i’m exciting to create that around healthy choices, supporting myself and others around diet and exercise, and finally taking the steps need to start to live my life better. maybe that’s why i chose thrive. i feel like i want to really thrive in my life, not just survive or make it through. there are days where that has to be okay as well, but, in general, thriving feels much better, more empowering, more in line with what i really believe. i went to this yoga/mediation retreat center last weekend - my first time by myself for more than 6 or 7 hours since my son was born - and out of it didn’t come GIANT revelations of how my life would just automatically change or how my mind would be radically different. What came instead was a weekend of having some time to notice myself, decide what I did and didn’t want to do, be physically and mentally active in ways that worked for me and plan my day around my choices. I had some over-eating as i am prone to do, but within that it wasn’t this wreckless overindulgence as much as a beginning of acceptance. There will be times that the control or the choices are not the best, but how can i live within that and keep going. How can i stop and think and ask myself “What do I really belive about what I am doing right now?”

I am working on valuing myself and removing some of the judgement that follows me around. Maybe some folks out there have felt that, too, and can help me out! I wonder what just writing instead of snacking may do…my hands do like to be busy and my mind certainly always is - unless i’m eating homemade cookie dough or raiding the pantry…or alternately swimming, meditating, reading, or practicing yoga, or really playing with my child or my dog. there is this thing about being present to that very moment of doing something rather than looking ahead all the time at what’s next.

time to thrive and not just survive. is that so corny? here’s the end of my first confession