thrive

Oh no! All weekend I was kind of bracing myself for the fall. You know, I was riding high, enjoying the momentum, feeling good and some where I knew that it would end, stop, or at least drag. I have realized how difficult the weekend can be to keep with my desire to be healthy, strong, active, and fit. My time seems more limited even though my hubby is home so, in theory, it’s more childcare (parenting by him). And, this weekend I did do better than last to get to the gym both Sat and Sun, but still the scale moved up this morning…

I got my period this weekend and thought it would give me those extra couple of pounds but both Sat and Sun my weigh in was okay, then today, up to 170 or even more again. And, you see, 170 is what made me come here. For the last year or maybe 2, I have been up and down between 155-165 with 169 being the highest. And then 170 came and came again and stayed. It really freaked me out because I had never been here before and because it menat that the 160s had stuck.

I don’t know about you all but I tend to have a 5-10 pound extra range for my weight.  That 5-10 pounds moves around alot. For years I was between 145-155, then I had the divorce diet that took me to a svelte 125-130 (oh my - those tight little red pants sure were fun!). Then back up gradually to the 130s and 140s and then a back injury and into the 150s and then a baby and no sleep and into the 160s. Now my post-baby maternity pants have been tight and I hit that 170 and up to 175 and it made me realize I was so far away from those 140s. It kind of snuck up on me and kind of didn’t. Really, I was just gorging myself recently (before I came here) and so those last 10 pounds made their way into my body and seem like they want to stay. I was liking the last few days b/c I was under 170, but today -argh. Hopefully, it water weight from my little womanly friend. But it could be the wine this weekend or the 2.5 bowls of vegertarian chili mac I had for dinner last night. Either way, I’m totally bummed!

I will go to the gym tonight and I will keep on trying, but I’m worried about getting in that negative space that makes it hard to remember my preferences and my true desires and is instead focused mainly on self-indulgence and feeling better fast.

Hope to keep it up! Any suggestions are MUCH appreciated! And, if I seem to disappear the funk has me beat!

be well.